Tuesday, 22 March 2016

I


She replied.
I smiled,
I hoped,
I breathe,
I sob,
I cried,
And there was the silent again...

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

虚度时光




致亲

你在读着的这封信是我多年前答应你的。来晚了,真的很抱歉。不过人生就是如此,人生。我们时常忘了彼此许下的承诺。
不过,你,依然还是难以忘怀。
我已明白世界是多么的荒謬。所谓的爱并不是都一样的。也知晓了痛不止皮肉伤而已。
所以知道雨后是会有晴天的。不管多么的疲惫不堪也是。可以的话世界还是依然美的。
我只想写下我所看到的还有你曾对我说的,尽量的把一切对你叙说。但,如果有什么遗漏了的话,请悄悄多我说。


Prologue

There will always be some stories hidden within each person in the busy street of the city. Under the city light, dreams are build and crushed at the same time with every passing moment. This was a big city where people are just to focus on their goals and routines on a daily basis. Every moment and schedules are packed to meet up to the over demanding expectation their are impose on. Working as hard as possible. While struggling to strive, we fight through sweat and pain just to reach the glory and fame that were promised and forgotten that we had stole the spotlight from someone else. Yet, This story begins with a little boy gazing upon the night sky above the skyscraper thinking a little bit about her.

In the small corner of the street, there is this little boy under the streetlight working on his personal typewriter which is known as laptop, typing and sorting number and alphabet, silently crunching his way to survive the city life. Harsh and lonely, it was his first time he had come to the big city with a dream to archive something enormous as he left the place he called home. As years passes by, life was slightly better for the little boy as he is able to manage to survive the big city with food on the plate and a few couple of close friends he meet on the course of his struggle to share bits and pieces of him with them. Occasionally when the moon was as bright as in the day and formed a perfect circle that are mesmerizing, the little boy will rise up his head, touch his chest nearby his heart and realize that there was something that seems to be missing. Something that can't be easily replaced nor filled up even with all the luxuries in the big city.

Chapter 1 - A stolen heart ?!

One the same street where the little boy lives, there was a girls next door where they sometime crashed and bumped into each other occasionally. Shy as she seems to be, the little girl gradually taken the little boy seriously as a good friend  and share stories of her life with him. Good friend they are but little does she know that how does he think about her nor does the little boy then. With each day passes by conversation between them come with more smiles, laughter and tears shared.
And so it seem...

For every unhappy moment that happened on the little girl, the little boy always manage to bring back her dimple back on her face. Never once the little boy told the little girl how important she was and perhaps hoping for more. Little does she knew that in the midst of all the chaos and excitement, she had secretly capture the fond of the little boy..

At the end of the day, in the entry of the little boy journal he wrote to himself,


"To little boy

If ignorance is a bliss, then I am drowned in a sea of sorrow.

From little boy "

Chapter 2 - Guardian Angel
爱情有多长的保鲜期,有些人为了梦想离乡背井来到了大城市磨练,有些人感觉不对了果决喊停让人措手不及。你刚开始在大城市里学着习惯一个人吃饭,习惯和自己对话,学着习惯所有的不习惯。然后庆幸的找到另一半也习惯了两人的生活。如果说两人的关系与陪伴也视为一种习惯,当一方突然刹车止住了,另一方却还依旧以惯性定律的往前冲,就会满身是伤。这突然停下来的不习惯是否能够简单地缓冲掉么?

Seeing that little girl was all alone in the big city, little boy pray hard that someone like a guardian angel will show up in her life. As the little boy was so sincere, the little girls meets a lot of different angels in her life. Some were there to talk to her, some were there to play with her, some even were there to laugh with her and some were there just to grant her wishes. But non of them were met by the little boy as he never saw any angels before except for her.

Till today he still hope that every day, an angel will be beside the little girl at every stage of her life.

Chapter 3 - The Guise
*Alarm clock sound*

Another day has arrive; it was still few more hours away from sunrise. Yet it was just another sleepless night. It was just those days when you will find yourself locked in your room starring at the ceiling wondering why. How come everything had come to this? Why I didn't......
For many time, no matter how many time you thought about it, no matter how many times the same scene was replayed over and over, never one you wanted to have it ended in such a way. And when you are out of thought you lie back hard, took a deep breath and start to accept the reality. Sometime weep silently or cried hysterically for the fact that you realize that you have lost undeniably and horribly. At that moment, you were the most vulnerable being in the world and would do anything to alter time and space for a do over.

Yet after down another day had begun. However during such day, you just wish that the day went backward instead of forward. Still the clock on the wall just seems to rotate clockwise instead of the other way round and you finally accept that things could not be change and the only option left is to accept and move on. No matter how it was to be forgotten and filed away, such night do seems to find itself through the night. Till one day when you are ready to carry on with it, then only those night will become restful.

Before that, every morning when sun rises, you will still wake up, clean yourself up, get rid of the dry tears, clear your throat, smile to the mirror and before leaving the house, put on your best dress, shoe, makeup and mask. With a hope that today will be a better day.

Chapter 4 - Verge of Boiling Point
"那个现在爱你的人,他与你谁爱谁多啊?那个你曾经爱着的人,现在还爱么?那个悄悄潜入你的世界的人,你们有可能么?”

我有可能吗? 男孩这么问到

“看到为爱奋不顾身的你,就算是冰水也会被你沸腾的,而我对你的感觉也渐渐升温。不知不觉的也到了即将沸腾的九十八度。为了维持我们的友谊我很想努力压抑这感情让之冷却下来。但突然在这一刻我想通了,我们说过要做个无话不谈的好朋友。这可秘密我很想告诉你。然后水从此沸腾了,我们就再也不会是原来的状态,但是我不怕,能在这一刻勇敢对你坦白代表我有多在意你。我不奢求什么,回去以后我会好好整理自己的心情,下次见面我们还会是好朋友。”

这些话男孩憋在心里许久却始终还是没对女孩说。

Chapter 5 - Story

The end of the story begin with the beginning of the story that how a little boy journey through his inner thought. Never was he been able to share his thought with other before as there were these feelings, emotions, and ideas that was never been taken seriously by his friends and families. But still each time little boy had trouble in his life, these was the safe heaven for him to sort his thought and make up his mind. Pondering and wondering around in the small little corner of his. Till now, he was not able to get rid of the thought of the little girl from his head. Questions and imaginations revolting "What if he did something otherwise" keep showing image of the glimpse and possible outcome. Elusive and excited it may seems, the little boy somehow was able to refrain himself from slumbering into the dreamy world.
While deciding what to do, time just seems to stop for him to linger around. Yet time does not stop for anyone.

Chapter 6 - Departure
这是一封离别信,男孩就那么写着。信里边写着他应该离开的原因。
男孩发现到了他在她的生命中扮演的角色太模糊了。他与她并不处于在同样一个视野上。
女孩的微笑男孩依旧没看懂,男孩的倔强还是那么顽固。

I would let go...
Let go of the thought of her...
To be with her...
So close yet so far...

In this big city, nothing last forever.
Romance will fade, things will happened, people will change and love will die.
Today there isn't any harps playing nor birds singing nor rose petals falling from the sky.
But if you look around, something amazing might just surprise you along the corner.



" 分手就像跟自己拔河,放或不放,挣的是一口气"

有时候我只能就这样傻乎乎,疯疯癫癫的跟你说出所有的一切。

而在这一串串文字里融入了我的感情观然后展示出去,也不会令人担忧。
这叫文学。

再次谢谢你的耐心陪伴。
还有记得。
我爱你,想你。
一直,永远


 Just Me.

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Love by Lang Leav

I don't know what it is like to love someone,
who the world tells me I am not supposed to love.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to love someone.
I am afraid to kiss on the street.

But I do know what it is like to love someone who I cannot be with.
I know how it feels to have my brain tell me one thing and my hear another.
To live with the knowledge that of circumstances had been different,
I would be with the one I love.

I do know there are all kinds of barriers to love.
I do believe the world needs less of them

—— Lang Leav

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Dream house

"My life is constantly under construction.
There's always something to impove."

Like a builder, an architect, an engineer, a worker and a dreamer.
Reaching for the star to archive greatness far beyond the cloud.
Touching the blue clear sky that seems to be far from the grasp of our hand but yet so close by within our sight.
One step at a time, one brick after another, sweating, struggling, panting, little by little constructing what we believe in. 
With all the effort and time, eventually what started as a house become a town become a city,
full with sky scrappers, monuments, cathedrals, market places and more..


However, deep within the fancy city that seems to be bright and full of life...
There is a places where the most naive,pure and sacred creation is placed.
Compare to the fast pace in the city, nothing changed here since the dawn of time.
Unlike the buildings in the city, most of the stuff here is half done, unfinished, incomplete.
Yet, it is keep well preserved as part of the city and not shown to others but some.
As this were once the dream houses that were built but failed.
Even much time has passed by, there were attempt to try to complete it but yet it just seems to be impossible as it was just an ambitious, too ambitious of a dream that was dreamed.

Still in this peacefully alley, new dream were build.
While we still miss the time we build those dreams houses,
there come a point where you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living.
You can't move on until you had let go of the past. Letting go is easy, it's the moving part that is excruciating.

Because that's what people do, they leap forward and hope that they can fly!
Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down
"why in the hell did I jump?"
But here I am, falling.
And now there is a person that makes me feel like I can fly.
That's her.

"If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that it only takes one person, one patient, one moment to change your life forever, to change your perspective, colour your thinking.
To force you to re-evaluate everything you think you know.
To make you ask yourself the toughest questions:
Do you know who you are?
Do you know what’s happened to you?
Do you want to live this way?"

I don't know. I don't need much to be happy,
She smiles..not that often but when she does you just feel warm.
And because of that I do know that I am building this dream house and hoping that someday she will come and stay even for just a while.
But things might not go the way I want them to , ever...

Despite the odd when it's one against a billion.
Just stand strong, keep pushing yourself past all rational limits and never let yourself give up.
Until when it’s all said and done, sometimes you’re just outnumbered despite how hard you try and fight to stay in control.
When it comes, please do walk tall.
All you need to do is to be brave out there in the big city,
as you fought, you love and you lost.
Hold yourself with tape and glue as you been doing it all your life.
You don't have time to fall apart.

In this big city, nothing last forever.
Romance will fade, things will happened, people will change and love will die.
But… maybe not today.   
There don’t have to be harps playing or birds singing or pose petals falling from the sky
And there are definitely days when the romance is dead.
But if you look around, things are pretty amazing.

Friday, 24 January 2014

这样就好。。

又想起了某人,又随意的看了下她的面书,
依然空空的,她境况如何? 应该很好吧。
终究不是朋友,还是放弃吧。点了取消朋友邀请。
也不知道为什么这人留下的余韵可以还在盘旋着。
我们之间没什么可以回忆的,话也不多,甚至将近零交集。
但就是会不自觉的就会想起她,就这么一点眷念。
然后又多加了点遗憾,感慨。。。
也许再过一阵子我会把她忘掉吧。
不过暂时就挖出来一下下,
也许这样就好。我想。。。。

Thursday, 26 December 2013

Betrayal ?!

“Was it a mistake?” it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting people.
“And I'm holding my hands over the ears of my heart, so that I will not hate you.”

Thursday, 3 October 2013

A small story~

這一則小故事談到兩家人,一家人常吵架,而另一家人從來沒吵過。常吵架的A先生於是向B先生請教,究竟問題出在那裡?
 
B先生說,你們家常吵架,是因為你們家都是「好人」;而我們家不吵架,是因為我們家都是「壞人」。
A先生覺得大惑不解,於是又問,既然全家都是「好人」,怎麼還會常吵架呢?
 
B先生說,全家都是「好人」正是問題之所在!因為你們各個都認為自己是「好人」,所做的一切都是「對」的,
有了差錯都是別人「錯」,因此各持己見,不肯讓步,這是你家總是爭吵不斷最主要的原因!
 
B先生並舉了個例說,你家有人打破了一個茶杯,打破的人不認為自己「粗心大意」,反而責罵誰把茶杯放在這裡?
 
放茶杯的人聽了當然很生氣,立刻就反駁打破茶杯的人很不負責任、強詞奪理、顛倒是非,於是雙方相互指責,吵個不休!
 
同樣這一件事如果發生在我家裡,打破茶杯的人會馬上說「對不起」,並趕緊找塊抹布「處理善後」。
 
放茶杯的人也會不好意思的說聲抱歉,承認是自己的錯,馬上去拿掃帚,兩個人一起把桌面和地面清理乾淨,事情就這樣過去了!